PhD Defences

Mr. Scientist: I can’t help worrying a little bit about the defence.
Mr. Monkey: Everyone does.
Mr. Monkey: Do you have specific worries?
Mr. Scientist: No, not really.
Mr. Monkey: Then you will do fine.
Mr. Scientist: I just can’t shake the fear that some day, I will be exposed as a dilettante.
Mr. Monkey: I had that feeling too but the question session at my defense basically went like this:
Mr. Monkey: Adviser: “Does anybody have any questions?”
Mr. Monkey: Referees: *cricket sounds*
Mr. Monkey: Adviser: “Well, then … I will ask some.”
Mr. Scientist: !
Mr. Monkey: I am glad I got my degree but I would have liked some more enthusiasm from the committee.
Mr. Monkey: Or at least an indication that they had leafed through my dissertation.
Mr. Scientist: I got a preliminary report from the committee which actually contains astute if not quite deep comments.
Mr. Monkey: “Your dissertation has a front page, I see.”